Book: The Cold Dish by Craig Johnson

I've had the first Longmire novel, The Cold Dish, on my wishlist at paperbackswap for months - since I first watched Longmire on A&E's website.

I finally got it in the mail last week, and even though it's been probably more than a year since I read anything in print, I looked forward to reading this book so much that I started it that night. Reading at night by flashlight, reminiscent of my tween and teen reading years, when I had to pretend to go to bed at the appointed hour, and couldn't be caught reading after lights out. What fun.

This book seriously needs a better editor. I mean, really. It's not a poorly edited book, but it's not well-edited. Nope. Maybe subsequent reprints have been updated. I can hope.

Parris Island was misspelled Paris Island. Sight instead of site. Right of passage instead of rite of passage. Deep-seeded instead of deep-seated. Affect instead of effect. Multiple uses of sat instead of set. Grinded. Too many whos and thats making things more complicated, when the idea could have been communicated much more simply without them. A serious overuse of commas, much like I found in the first book I edited for someone who'd used Grammarly for their book edits before finding me. Sheath of papers instead of sheaf. Antiquainted, which is not even a word, instead of antiquated. Freeze de jour. If worse came to worse.

And oh, my gods. The dialogue. Dialogue and actions were mixed into paragraphs, such that I have a hard time sometimes keeping straight who is talking and who is acting, because both are done by different people in the same paragraph. He doesn't much believe in dialogue tags, which might be fine if there are only two people in a book, but there are dozens, and holy cow.

All of this had been making me crazy (er than usual), until I just want to throw the frakkin' book into the wall. Has everyone forgotten the English language, including editors?

Even crazier? I'm enjoying the book despite all those flaws.

Book Walt has a bizarre and twisted sense of humor that makes me laugh. Out loud. I love the relationship Book Vic and Book Walt have with each other - he appreciates her more than the show implies, and Book Vic is much more like a favorite scifi character than Vic is on the show. She's mouthy and independent and brash and competent (not that she's incompetent on the show), and drops the F-bomb a lot, and is more vulnerable and open with Book Walt than she's been on the show (understand that I've never seen the first season, only two and what's aired of three). Book Walt is spiritually-inclined and has a more interesting relationship with Henry Standing Bear - Henry is in many ways Book Walt's conscience. Their relationship is sometimes adversarial and sometimes cooperative, and there are moments that they don't need words to communicate, and underlying everything is a deep and abiding love for each other, in a way that is unusual in American heterosexual men, at least unusual in the sense that they love each other and are never awkward about it.

I'm just enjoying the hell out of this book, and it's been my oasis in the middle of a crisis, editorial mistakes notwithstanding.

TV: Killer Women

I'll admit that I watched the first episode of Killer Women and let it go. That first ep was interesting, but not so interesting that I wanted to watch more right then. The most compelling relationship in that episode was the brother/sister relationship of Molly and Billy (Helfer and Trucco), and that includes the affair between Molly and Dan (Marc Blucas).

Figured since I was at it, and writing isn't happening, I'd go ahead and finish Killer Women. Luckily, HuluPlus is having a free trial week, so I could watch the ones that aren't on the ABC site any more.


Seeing all the episodes in a row (warning - episodes six and seven are reversed on Hulu - Demons should come before Daughter of the Alamo) makes the show much more compelling. Trucco and Helfer resonated exceptionally well as brother and sister, and the people cast to play his wife and children seemed authentically Latina/Tejana. 

The Parker family roots go deep into Texas history, and into local Indian history (note: they used the term Indian in the show, not Native American), and Molly in particular was driven by her history. I loved Marc Blucas in Buffy, though I didn't love Riley's relationship with Buffy, and I'm always happy to see him in something else. Here, he was rugged and believable as a love interest (despite the semi lack of chemistry with Helfer), and he was growing on me as DEA Agent Dan.

There were little things being woven in that could have reverberated through the rest of the season had the show not been cancelled. Perhaps most interesting was the myriad of ways they found for women to be the perpetrators of the crimes. I didn't get the second meaning of the show's title until three episodes in.

Lots of little things left open to interpretation, but since the first season was so short, the show also gets to go out on a high note - going out while it was getting better, not after it had jumped the shark.

Change is...change

Sometimes bad things happen for no reason. Sometimes, though...

Seven years ago, I had a decent job and a great boss, and then my life fell apart in a pretty spectacular way. I made a mistake, a big one (not job-related), and I've spent the last seven years paying for it. I'm not quite finished yet, legally speaking.

And here's the thing: I can't regret what I did. It served a greater purpose. My life was drifting along. I knew that my work was something I did because I was good at it, not because I enjoyed it. I longed for the satisfaction of doing work I loved, but didn't know what that might be. I wanted my life to mean something, to me and to the people with whom I might come into contact.

I had glimpses of this better life from time to time, and I wanted what I saw, but I was cozy, unwilling to step outside the safety of my comfort zone for long. What I was doing kept a roof over my kid's head, and food on the table, and responsible adults sometimes do work they don't like in order to fulfill their obligations. That's what I'd been taught as a kid, what I'd always believed. The universe knew that in order for me to find that extra something I was looking for, I needed to be shoved forcibly out of my cocoon.

The change has been painful and humiliating and the personal shame of making that choice has estranged me from both family and friends. My kid stuck by me. She was adult enough to tell me that she didn't like what I did, but understood why I did it. I withdrew and isolated myself from people I cared about out of the fear that if they knew what I'd done, they wouldn't like me anymore. Some of them have surprised me.  I've had friends who learn the whole story, from me or from someone else, and still welcome me into their lives and their homes. I'm grateful for those people, people who see me as a person who made a mistake, rather than a person who is that mistake.

Was it a bad thing I did? Sure. Did anybody besides me and my daughter get hurt? For the most part, that answer's no.

Did it need to happen?

I believe it did. The emotional, spiritual, and financial struggles of the past seven years have been critical to my growth as a human being.

My life is different now. I've learned and unlearned things about myself. I've forgiven myself for ancient transgressions that weren't even mine to begin with. I've fallen in like with new parts of myself, acquired and refined new skills, and have work I love to do. It's not enough work yet, but it's something that had I the means, I would happily do without pay. I do in fact do it regularly for nothing but the sheer joy of it.

Good things are happening now, small things here and there. It started slowly and is gaining momentum. I've been taking the shattered puzzle pieces of a boring, uninspired life and putting them back together into a new picture, somebody who can do what I've always wanted to do - help people. In as many ways as possible.

Bzz Campaign: Kroger Spring Cleaning

I sign up for these campaigns, and I use the coupons, and then I forget entirely to post about them.

In this case, it was the Kroger Spring Cleaning BzzCampaign, and I received a number of coupons, good at Kroger, toward the purchase of cleaning products. I managed to get a good selection of things to give me a head start on cleaning, and only spent about $5 out of my own pocket.

The campaign was connected to their Fuel Points program, and for a limited period of time, you could earn extra fuel points for purchasing participating cleaning products at Kroger. I didn't earn many fuel points during this period, because the day I shopped for these items was the last time I went to Kroger, due to transportation issues.

I keep thinking I got one more thing that isn't in the pictures, but I can't remember what it is. :/ 

As you can see, I got two of the Kroger HomeSense products, as well as a Kroger brand of hand soap refill. The HomeSense cleaning wipes were/are wonderful. They cleaned up this mess...

...without requiring a whole lot of scrubbing, and they smell good into the bargain. They definitely made the bathroom smell nicer when I used them in there. I wish I had remembered to take an "after" picture, but I didn't, and the stove needs cleaning again, though not as badly as it did here. lol Without the coupon, I probably would never have tried these, and I'm really pleased with the way they clean and with the pleasant scent they leave behind. They compare quite favorably to the national brand.

I love the scent of the hand soap I got, Shea and Citrus, I think. It smells great, and doesn't dry my hands out. I wash my hands a LOT, and finding soap that doesn't leave my hands scaly and itchy is a great thing. I actually prefer this scent to any other I've been able to find in the national brand's refill selection.

The Oxi-Clean was a new thing for me. I've tried the little toss-in things before, and they've worked well, but in this case, some stains came out that I hadn't been able to get out before, and my clothes smell clean even after they've been put away a few days. It's been a long time since my clothes smelled fresh after I washed them, even though I run vinegar through the washer regularly.

I haven't had occasion to use the trash bags yet, since we've still got bags left in the previous box. The Glad containers were most welcome - I'd been trying to find a deal on some new freezable containers, and with the coupon, these were practically a steal. I've already put them to use several times freezing leftovers for later use.

Obviously, smell is a thing for me, more than it is for other people, and these products worked great for me. I was thrilled to be able to get these products at a deep discount. Thanks go to Kroger and BzzAgent for allowing me to participate.

Kroger was a great place to stock up on these things. They had a wide selection of products (I wasn't limited to only buying Kroger's store brand) from which to choose, and a number of things were also on sale on the day I shopped. Kroger frequently has good sales, both on grocery and non-grocery items.

I recommend checking out Kroger's HomeSense brand when you can find what you're looking for in their line-up. I think you'll be pleased with the products.

Book: Come Home to Me by Brenda Novak

Presley and Aaron's story, Come Home to Me, was sweet and was a pretty fast read. I didn't really connect the names at first, not until I was done reading, actually, and now that I'm looking at it, the names are a bit cutesy for me, but...

Presley and Aaron were fuckbuddies for a while before she left town, and even though they're both still hot for each other, Presley does her best to resist him, not just for herself, but for her son. Before she left town, Presley was apparently the town bad girl/daughter of a town pariah, and she's since mended her ways. Most of her backstory is told in allusions to things that happened, snippets of mentions in her conversations with her sister, or other characters' internal monologues.

I didn't have much trouble connecting to that, having been there, done that, in some of the same ways. I would have liked for there to be more concrete references to it, though. Most of her backstory was told, not shown, (and not really told very explicitly) and I think it might be more difficult for someone who's never been hungry or desperate to really understand how far Presley's come in just two years. Her recovery, her growing up, just didn't mean a whole lot, because there was no real glimpse into what she'd been before. Some flashbacks at opportune moments could have helped with that, I think.

I liked the semi-slow way they worked their way back into each other's lives, or more accurately, how Aaron imposed himself back into her life, little by little. There wasn't much insight into why Aaron kept pushing, thought, no real reason for him to, other than he was just irritated that his former fuckbuddy was back in town and trying to avoid sleeping with him, and thinking about dating someone else into the bargain. He sort of had the attitude, 'It was good once, so why are you trying so hard, Presley?' He didn't get it, and I didn't really get him, either.

I did like that it took something major for him to figure his feelings out, but the build-up to it was bigger than the resolution, and that was a bit disappointing.

I loved the way Aaron connected to his son, Wyatt.

The secondary story, Presley's "sister" Cheyenne and her husband Dylan, was odd, and I just know that is going to come back and bite everybody in the hindquarters, and I'm not sure how that's going to get told, since Dylan and Cheyenne are already married. Not too many romances get written these days about people who are already married and in love with each other. As a B story, it took up too much space, space that could have been better used to beef up Presley and Aaron.

I did like the way Presley was upfront about her business with some of her potential clients - "This is a legitimate business, and there's not gonna be any shenanigans, so just get that right out of your head," to paraphrase it. I also really liked that the bits of family she'd created around herself were supportive, not judging. She had issues with who she used to be, but other people were pretty much taking the new Presley at face value.

I think I might've gotten more out of this book if I'd read Dylan and Cheyenne's story (assuming it exists), because there are probably bits of backstory in the two sisters' interactions in that. However, this story mostly stood on its own, and I enjoyed reading it. I hope to read more in the Whiskey Creek series.

I did not notice any mistakes or typographical errors while reading.

I was given a digital copy of this book by the author in exchange for an honest review.

Come Home to Me is available for Kindle or in paperback.

Totally Random

It's been quite a while.

I followed a LINK today, to try to learn something more about using appropriate language with people who are not me. I finished the article, read the comments, and ended up more confused than ever. I still don't know what to call people who aren't me. Over the last year, I've learned that the label I put on myself isn't appropriate - it has to be prefaced. So if I don't know what to call myself, how am I supposed to know what to call everyone else?

This link was specifically about gender-identity and sexuality (I think - I honestly don't even know what to call it anymore), and how using a word - the example was "tranny" - can be damaging to a person, reinforcing years of verbal or other abuse.

I don't intentionally use labels to denigrate other people. I do have labels in my head that until they are pointed out to me, I don't read them as insulting. To me, who grew up in a family full of mechanics, a tranny is a piece of a car - a damn expensive piece of a car. I've never used the word to describe a person, but I have been told to stop using it, because it offends people. How? I'm not using it to describe people.

Specifically, I'm learning this because I'm personally affected by it - someone I know is dealing with this issue on a daily basis, and yet, I still don't understand it. Really, I am not afraid to say that I don't get it. I can't understand it, can't even empathize. I've never been uncomfortable in my own body - the kind of uncomfortable that makes surgery or a lifetime of drug-therapy a viable option. At most, I've wondered how much easier camping or road trips would be if I could whip out my penis and pee in a bush or off the side of the road. Still, I've never wanted to be a man.

What I can do is ACCEPT that you are presenting yourself to me as what you wish to be. You present to me as female, and unless you tell me otherwise, that's what you are. Same goes if you present as male. I don't go looking for subtle signs that you are just pretending. If you want to share that part of your journey with me, I will be as welcoming as I know how to be, up to my limits. I'm not afraid to say, "Okay, I've reached the point where I need to go away and process before I can take more input." That's not about you, about me thinking there's something wrong with you, it's about how my mind works.

According to the new labels, being born in a female body and feeling female makes me cis-female. I looked it up, because I needed to understand where the prefix came from in order to use it. Yes, I'm weird. The cis prefix is 'near' or 'in the vicinity of' making me near-female or in-the-vicinity-of-female? Except I'm not. I AM a female. I'm a girl. A woman. A female. A bitch, even. A cranky, curmudgeonly, twisted and deviant woman on the verge of fifty. I don't know how to respond when someone says, "Oh, you're cis-female," except to say, "No. I'm female. There's no cis about it." Why is that wrong?

Does anyone else understand this enough to talk me through it? I'm willing to learn new things. I just need more than "Oh, this is the new way to say it, but I can't explain it, it just is," to internalize it, to make it stick.

Book: A SEAL's Salvation by Tawny Weber

I won't rehash the plot - you can get that from the blurb. 

I loved the way this started - teenage Genna's hesitant attempts at seducing Brody on a dare. She'd been crushing on him anyway, and took this opportunity to make herself do something she'd been afraid to do. Brody took her unskilled attempts and ran with them, until her father showed up. To me, this was a pretty empowering first experience for a girl, even if they never got to third base. 

Fast-forward ten years, and Genna writes Brody to let him know that her brother has died. Brody's pithy single line response to her letter shakes her out of her personal and professional doldrums and reignites her feelings for him. Their correspondence before his return home on convalescent leave were both funny and hot.

There were great insights into what might make a man, particularly a SEAL, feel like a failure, and the way Genna came up with to make the hometown heroes parade okay for Brody was really touching.. 

I really enjoyed Genna's coping mechanism - incessant baking - and loved that Brody's friendship enabled her to take the first step in making that into the vocation she'd always wanted.

Genna and Brody are two characters I wouldn't mind revisiting several years into the future, when they're facing another obstacle and have to find their way back to the core of their relationship.

I wasn't entirely convinced of the sudden turnaround of Genna's parents, but that was a very small oddity in an otherwise really good book.

There were a few typos and the formatting was a bit wonky in places. I did keep reading Genna as Gemma, probably because I'd never seen Genna spelled that particular way, but that was my thing, not the author's.

I received a digital copy of this book from Netgalley for the purposes of review.

A SEAL's Salvation is available for pre-order on Amazon.

Book: Take Me Out

I was given a digital copy of this anthology by NetGalley for the purposes of review.

Trade Off by Elley Arden:   Scarlett and Ben hit the sheets early in this story - they were sweethearts in school and the chemistry is still there.  Their short romance is hot and sweet.  Second favorite of the four stories.

Slugger Gone South by Alicia Hunter Pace: This story was probably the weakest of the four, and had the most mistakes and formatting errors.  Something that wasn't an error, but jumped out at me to age this story was a reference to Conway Twitty taking the stage at the charity event.  Conway Twitty's been dead since 1993, which tells me this story has been sitting on someone's hard drive for a very long time.  Marc and Bailey try to avoid each other when he's unexpectedly in town for a charity event. Unknown to them, relatives were conspiring to get them together again.  The transition from her anger over his real or imagined infidelities to their HEA was abrupt and a little ridiculous.  He remembered something from when they were together and helped her through a crisis, so she magically gets over everything she's holding against him.  Instant couple.  Of the four stories, I liked this one least.

Safe at Home by Leslie P. García: Amanda seeks out Josh in an effort to save her dad's mom-and-pop hardware store.  She has good reasons for hating a game she used to love, and Josh's patience and sense of humor win her heart over the course of several weeks.  Safe at Home had great characterization, plot, and pacing.  Best of the bunch.

That Ol’ Team Spirit by Bea Moon: Trish's gran has decided that the mischief in their concession stand is the work of a spirit, rather than plain old vandalism.  The premise for this story was cute, and one I should have liked.  It could have benefited from more words to work through the plot - it would have worked better as a novella or novellette.  The romance was rushed and the chemistry between the two leads was more tell than show.  Wrap-up was pretty wham-bam-thank-you-ma'am, and the sudden interest in 'let's get home so we can get horizontal now' came out of nowhere when the entire rest of the story was mostly holding hands (at seances) and the like.

To my knowledge, this anthology is only available through the Crimson Romance website.
http://www.crimsonromance.com/crimson-romance-ebooks/crimson-romance-book-genres/contemporary-romance-novels/take-me-out/

If I had it to do over again....

I wouldn't.

This month, a question meme made its way through livejournal.  Many of the questions posed to me were fandom questions, because most of my friends there are fandom friends: BSG, XF, BtVS, Farscape.  

One of the non-fandom questions this month was:  You have one real-life do-over.  Do you use it?  And when?

In fiction, I'm a fan of a character saying something to the effect of, "We got off on the wrong foot, so let's start over.  Hi, I'm x."

In real life, not so much.  Not because I've never done anything I regret, but because everything I've done or not done has brought me here today.  I may not be terribly enamored of where my life is at the moment, but I like myself, and each and every choice I made along the way had something to do with molding me into this particular me.  And my life being where it is at the moment is an opportunity for change and growth.  Neither growth nor change has been something I handled particularly gracefully in the past, but that's the joy of aging, I suppose, is the ability to look back and see that even the bad things have good consequences sometimes, and that the good things I worked so hard to achieve didn't always get me where I thought they would.  So growth and change.

I might like to have made more responsible choices with the money I had after selling the land I inherited (I'm sure Mrs. Potatohead would have appreciated us being less hand-to-mouth for those years.), but I did the best I could with the budgeting skills I had at the time (facility with math does not equate to understanding the concept of budgeting, parents).  It was so many small choices leading up to "Oh, wow.  Where did all that money go?"  (not that it was a lot, but more than I'd ever had at any one time before)  When I win the lottery, oh, the things I know now...

I'd rather go forward, using the things I've learned, sometimes at great expense, to make the future better.  I can't change the past, no matter how much I might wish to.

Book: Making Him Sweat by Meg Maguire

I was provided a digital copy of this book by NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.

Sweet love story. Its sweetness was countered by the offputting graphic language during the love scenes. I'm all for graphic descriptions - I am not afraid of the f-bomb. But the language (not the descriptions, mind you, which were honestly relatively tame) felt completely out of place when compared to the rest of the story.

I like the detail of Jenna getting to know her father through his letters, and the somewhat realistic detail of both Jenna and Mercer feeling like they could get over the relationship fairly quickly, just by not acknowledging that they were serious about each other.

There could have been some more wrap-up at the end, but I'm thinking that perhaps some of those things will be in the beginning of the next book, to give readers some continuity.

All in all, I enjoyed the book and would read more by this author.

Making Him Sweat

Yeah, sometimes families suck, too.

My little sister asked me a couple of weeks ago to pick her up at the airport tomorrow - she's coming into town early to spend a couple of days with our parents because she has to work over christmas.  I agreed to pick her up, knowing that I would have to figure out the gas situation and such.

Last week, my stepmother called me to find out if I *needed* my gift/check early.  I declined.  She said she hoped it didn't bother me that she'd called.  She also mentioned my sister.  So I texted my sister to ask if I was still going to pick her up at the airport.  She never texted me back, but messaged me on FB a couple of days later to say that mom & dad were picking her up, to save me the trip.

How kind of them.  And they probably think they're being nice, too.  Except that I haven't seen my sister in two years (oh, wait, I did see her for about ten minutes last year when she dropped off my "christmas presents" on her way back out of town), and I was looking forward to having thirty or forty-five minutes with her in the car on the way to our parents' house.  Now I won't get to see her at all.

And I'm feeling angry and resentful about it.  And sad.

All I can do is remind myself that I'm different. I'm not that kind of parent.

There is nothing, not one single solitary thing I can imagine, that my kid could ever do that would make me shun her.  Nothing.  I might not like her behavior, and I won't hesitate to tell her so, but I won't turn my back on her, ever.  It's definitely one of the things I learned about parenting from my own parents, and resolved never to do.

Those of you who have loving families, however dysfunctional or weird, cherish them.  Some of us aren't so lucky.

Bedbugs suck

Good night.
Sleep tight.
Don't let the bed bugs bite.

You've probably all heard it.  It's not just a nursery rhyme or whatever.

Might I suggest that if you ever have the opportunity to be infested with bedbugs, you should graciously decline.  Or run for the motherfrakking hills.  Burn the house down.  Whatever it takes.

Things I've learned:

• Alchohol kills them on contact.  I keep a spray bottle beside my bed.  For the rest of my life, I will probably associate the scent of rubbing alcohol with these frakking bugs.
• I am allergic to them.  I have been taking generic benadryl by the fours to keep the itch to a highly-pissed-off lion's roar.  That doesn't help the welts or swelling, of course, just the itch.
• Diatomaceous earth kills them, but it takes longer, and they have to touch it, which means the ones in hiding aren't dying.  However, it is not harmful to me, so there's that.
• Exception to the above: the DE aggravates my asthma if I am not careful about covering my nose/mouth when I spread it.
• Organic pesticides, like you can get at Home Depot, rather than killing the bugs, make them breed faster.  
• They don't like menthol - such as Vick's VapoRub or Baby Vick's or Mentholatum.  Aside from that, they also get stuck in it, and can't bite me.
• The aforementioned menthol products take the sting out of the itch better than any itch cream.  They also keep them from biting whatever I've slathered the stuff onto - hands, jaw, neck, chest, ankles.
• Even I, with my superhuman powers of itch-resistance, still itch so much that I will have permanent scars on my hands and feet.  I will also probably feel creepy-crawlies on my skin for a good long while.  
• The more layers you wear, the harder it is for them to get to your skin.  The tighter something is, the less likely they'll get through.  
• They especially like the soft skin of a sideboob or face.  Oy.  
• The smaller they are, the more they hurt when they bite.
• They DO bite house pets.  Whoever said they didn't lied.  They prefer human blood, but will feed on any warm-blooded mammal if humans are not available.
• If you even think you might have them, get on the internet and find out for sure - there are lots of pictures to go by.  Then, find a reputable place that does full-house treatments.  Extreme heat and extreme cold kill them virtually instantly. Then, wash and dry everything that can take it in hot water and on high heat in the dryer.  If it won't take it, you can try drycleaning, though that doesn't always kill them.  

Best piece of advice:  Just don't get bed bugs.  If you travel, check out your hotel's mattress before sleeping on it.  When you come back, steam clean your suitcase, or if there's room, stick it in the freezer for a couple of days (if you do this, leave all your clothes in the suitcase).  Wash everything - don't just stick stuff back in your drawers because you didn't end up wearing it.  If you buy used furniture, check it carefully and steam clean it before you put it in your house.  

I cannot stress enough how much you want to avoid getting bed bugs.  DANGER, WILL ROBINSON!

Whatever....Debbie Downer edition

Been a while. I keep meaning to update, writing the posts in my head, then never actual typing them up. :shrugs:

I'm feeling disconnected - from just about everything. Some of it is the season. I am definitely seasonally affected, and it seems like it gets worse every year. Last year was the first time I had to dig deep into reserves I don't have any more to keep from giving up - and I was discovering writing last year. This year, it's only October. How the hell am I supposed to get through the rest of the year?

My mom's been dead eleven years next month, and last night, I had the first dream I can remember about her. In my dream, she was tall and straight and strong, hair flaming red falling in waves past her shoulders. Happy. Much as she was before she made the conscious or unconscious decision to drink herself to death. What was weird about this dream, though, is that when someone told me they'd seen her, I dismissed it. "No, mom's dead. She died a long time ago." Then I caught sight of her, standing half a football field away in a crowded parking lot, and I was terrified. I ran. Then the dream switched scenes, as dreams do, and I was sitting in front of her, and she was saying, "Yes, it's me," all nonchalant like I see my dead mother back to life and beautiful every day. By the end of the dream, I was deeply resentful of her, and I don't even know why.

There was a con here in Dallas recently, where both Katee Sackhoff and Jamie Bamber appeared. I would have pushed past my crowd-shyness to see the two of them. Hell, I would have worked the thing to see them. I desperately wanted to go, but money was, as always, an issue, and I wasn't able to go.

I did get to spend the weekend with my smut-writing/TV friend instead, but things are different with her new relationship. Do I begrudge her the happiness? A thousand times NO. Do I still wish she had time for me that wasn't divided twenty different ways? Of course. We didn't even get any writing done, and not a whole lot of TV, for that matter. I came back to the house feeling exhausted rather than renewed for the first time ever.

My thirty-year high school reunion is later this month, and I won't be able to go. No way to get there, and no place to stay if I did manage to get there. My car's inspection and registration are both expired, and to pass inspection would take money I don't have or a deeply dishonest inspection station. Without the inspection, no registration. Those new state databases tell the state when your car's not inspected, and they won't give you a registration sticker any more - well, Texas won't. Not that I have the money to pay for it anyway. :sigh:

Thanksgiving's next month. I'd gotten used to going to my friend's house, spending the holiday with her, hosting Airmen for their first real break from Basic Training in weeks, and last year because her husband was home from Iraq, I didn't get to go. Not even sure why. He likes me fine - we get along well most of the time. I haven't even bothered to ask this year, because I when I texted & emailed her about reunion weekend, she never answered, and he's home for good. He's not retired, but for medical reasons, he won't be going back to the middle east.

So, whatever. I'm having a pity party, I guess. I miss my kid. I miss my grandson. I miss San Antonio. I miss my entire family, who aren't speaking to me for their own reasons. And yeah. I miss my mom.

My writing is frakked. Mostly I haven't been able to write, and when I do finish something, I'm not satisfied with it. It's been three weeks, and that, probably more than anything else, is getting me down. The thing I've used to cope for the last year is failing me, and frankly, considering where I am emotionally, that scares me.

On the other hand, things that make me smile:

The other gramma was in Italy to visit the kids, and this was Baby Potatohead getting tired of gramma taking pictures of him. Love the attitude.

Thank you...

Sending out a very grateful round of thanks to those of you who follow links from here when you're ordering from Amazon. There have been a couple of times this past year that what I earned in commissions has made a difference between eating and not.

Thank you!

Book: The Champagne Sisterhood by Chris Keniston

I've always wished I had friends like these four women are. They're tighter than tight, even with years and distance and marriage wearing on the relationships.

Champagne Sisterhood starts off with Anna getting a scary phone call, and despite the danger of losing her job, she jets across the country when one of her "sisters" is hurt.

The connection between the four women is almost tangible, and the way they rally around each other and are willing to rearrange their lives to help one another is remarkable.

I completely enjoyed reading this book. Why not five stars then? There were more errors than I consider acceptable in a published work, and I have to count off for that, even if she's my friend.

I have to be honest and say that I always read a friend's work with trepidation. Is it going to suck? If it does, how do I tell her (or him)? How do I write an honest review? In this case, I can be completely honest and say that I was pulled in, laughing and crying with these women before I'd even gone a hundred pages. I am definitely looking forward to reading more of Chris' work in the future.

The Champagne Sisterhood is available for Kindle here:

and on bn.com. It's also available as a paperback on both sites, if you prefer that.

Book: Overclocked by K.S. Augustin

I got a copy of this book from the author in exchange for an honest review.

This was a marvelously intricate story for a novella (108 pages), meaty and satisfying. There were parts of it that, despite the author's down-to-earth explanations, still went over my head, but I'm okay with reading material that challenges me.

I enjoyed the evolution of Carl from playboy scientist out for the fame and glory to a self-sacrificing man who believed his actions could, and were necessary to, save the world.

The descriptions of the internal landscape of the internet were useful in visualizing what Carl and Tania were experiencing - not everyone who was there saw things the same way, and the differences were interesting in themselves.

As with the previous book I read, the formatting was phenomenally well-done, and really made reading this a pleasure - chapters were clearly divided, no orphaned lines or stray words in the middle of paragraphs. A lot of indie-published authors are less perfectionist, and I deeply appreciate the care that Augustin takes in making these books easy on the eyes.

Odd, strange and bizarre....

Seriously?  My tax money has been going to this my entire life? The FBI says it has found no sign of the remains of former Teamsters union leader Jimmy Hoffa and is ending a dig in suburban Detroit. Authorities have pursued multiple leads on Hoffa's whereabouts since his disappearance in 1975.

For more on this story, go to http://usat.ly/19RpPJ1.

Twenty Years Ago

Twenty years ago today, on a Friday night, I was as big as a house, and my father-in-law reminded me of that fact frequently.  It was all in fun on his end, but I hated it every single time he said that out loud.

OK.  I wasn't as big as a house, but I FELT that way.

Mrs. Potatohead was due today, and what did I choose to do?  I went camping.  Uh-huh.  It was the annual Celebration of Summer that my mom put on, and even due any damn minute, I went camping.  In the summer.  In Texas.

I think my mother made sure every pagan medical professional she knew would be on hand just in case I went into labor - we had record attendance that year.  Luckily Mrs Potatohead didn't make her appearance until Tuesday morning, after over twenty-four hours of labor.  But my mom made sure that if her grandchild was going to arrive out at Lake Tawakoni, she was going to arrive in style.

So I camped, and nearly everyone waited on me hand and foot, and I judged a Sun King competition, and my husband ran around the whole place naked as a jaybird and got sunburned in some interesting places.  I have to admit that remembering that gives me warm fuzzies.  He deserved it later.

Product: Kroger's Yogurt Smoothie Bars

Being a BzzAgent means I get free products or coupons for free products from time to time.  In this case, I got coupons to try Kroger's Yogurt Smoothie Bars free (and some $1 coupons to pass along).  It took me a while to find the product at my local Kroger, and my Kroger only had the Triple Berry flavor.  It wasn't quite what I was expecting, but I do like the taste, and it's certainly a mouth full of cool when it gets hot.  It's got a good texture, comparable to the national chain that shall remain nameless.  One of these really hits the spot when I need a quick pick-me-up, too.

Book: Triple Threat by Bella Jeanisse LANGUAGE AND CRUDENESS WARNING NSFW

There's a shorter, more pleasant review on Amazon.   This isn't that one.

Triple Threat reads like a fifteen-year-old wrote a rock band RPF, inserted themselves Mary-Sue style in first-person POV, then anonymized the whole thing so it could be published for money. If you read the book after this review, you cannot blame me for the time you'll never get back.

Main character wants her best friend, but insists to herself that she’s not in love with him.  Insists that she IS in love with another member of their band, and so tries to get him into bed.  Dates another guy who has a premature ejaculation problem, so to keep herself satisfied, keeps frakking her “best friend” sometimes even when her boyfriend is on the phone with her, or on the other side of the door.  Lets her “best friend” see her naked, take risque photos of her, tells him that she’s not in love with him, lets him frak her anytime he wants anyway, at least once he "convinces" her anew every time.

Girl seems to have no self-control at all.  She says no, a guy kisses her and she’s all ready for action and can’t resist him.  

Completely unrealistic guy continually getting all down and dirty with the main character, even naked with penis touching clit, then backing away because “it’s not right” or “it’ll ruin the friendship” or “I don’t want to just have sex with you - you need someone who cares about you.”  Then, out of the blue, he changes his mind and they frak and it’s boring.  Well, not to them, because every orgasm is the best one she ever had in her entire life.  The pleasure is always awesome or rapturous.  Someone needs a thesaurus.

Lots of passive voice and telling instead of showing.  taunt is used in one place instead of taut.  Just dreck.

Liberal use of the f-bomb, with which I personally don’t have a problem with (even though I've replaced it here BSG-style, lol).  There are no other women in the book, except for the groupies the other band members frak after every gig.

Every guy is almost literally hung like a horse.  I mean like 12 inches long and so big that she can’t get her hand around him.  So big/long that it hurts to have sex.  And yet she does a DP scene with two of these guys in her snatch at the same time, because anal sex hurts.  

Both the guys she fraks the most are always telling her what she feels.  She doesn’t feel the way they think, but she’s completely unwilling to just tell either of them what it is she does feel.

The “best friend,” the one she’s been frakking since the beginning of the book, freaks out about her finally settling down with a guy and threatens to quit the band.  He asks for a threesome, she says she’ll ask her boyfriend, and suddenly, he’ll stay with the band and they all live happily ever after.

Reviewed for Kitties Like Books Too (http://kittykatreads.blogspot.com)