Wednesday, December 11, 2013

Yeah, sometimes families suck, too.

My little sister asked me a couple of weeks ago to pick her up at the airport tomorrow - she's coming into town early to spend a couple of days with our parents because she has to work over christmas.  I agreed to pick her up, knowing that I would have to figure out the gas situation and such.

Last week, my stepmother called me to find out if I *needed* my gift/check early.  I declined.  She said she hoped it didn't bother me that she'd called.  She also mentioned my sister.  So I texted my sister to ask if I was still going to pick her up at the airport.  She never texted me back, but messaged me on FB a couple of days later to say that mom & dad were picking her up, to save me the trip.

How kind of them.  And they probably think they're being nice, too.  Except that I haven't seen my sister in two years (oh, wait, I did see her for about ten minutes last year when she dropped off my "christmas presents" on her way back out of town), and I was looking forward to having thirty or forty-five minutes with her in the car on the way to our parents' house.  Now I won't get to see her at all.

And I'm feeling angry and resentful about it.  And sad.

All I can do is remind myself that I'm different. I'm not that kind of parent.

There is nothing, not one single solitary thing I can imagine, that my kid could ever do that would make me shun her.  Nothing.  I might not like her behavior, and I won't hesitate to tell her so, but I won't turn my back on her, ever.  It's definitely one of the things I learned about parenting from my own parents, and resolved never to do.

Those of you who have loving families, however dysfunctional or weird, cherish them.  Some of us aren't so lucky.