Friday, December 10, 2010

2010 accomplishments

Got everything I owned out of storage and into the garage of the house in which I was living.

Threw away, gave away, recycled and donated about three large U-Haul trucks' worth of "stuff." 

Yes, I was a packrat.  My "stuff" included 30 years of living on my own, my daughter's dead best friend's leftovers from five years ago (mom needed them out of the house after she died, and I don't blame her), my own dead mother's stuff from eight years ago (personal, professional and retail), my daughter's stuff, and my own personal addiction to candles, incense, magazines, rocks, office supplies in general and pens in particular, shoes and whatever else has struck my fancy.

As far as that packrattiness is concerned, I am in recovery, not cured.  There are still things I find it very difficult to let go.  Mostly though, I find that I don't even remember why I was holding onto things, as I unpack them and evaluate the usefulness of each item.  There are still far too many items which are "worth money, I can sell that."  Problem is, if the person to whom they really belong doesn't see them, they don't get sold, and I keep looking at them, or moving them around, or moving them to new places. 

Attended my only daughter's wedding without killing the man who was planning it.  Without input from us, I might add.  That alone ought to have earned me the Pulitzer Peace prize away from Obama.

Continued to look for work, whether at a job or from home.  No, I haven't applied at McDonald's or Wendy's, and I'm planning to continue avoiding those little jewels.  I know my physical limitations.  Usually.  I continue to get emails and letters turning me down, or explaining that I am not the best person for the job.

Got my first few denials for SS Disability, and an appearance before a judge, who also denied my claim.  That is an ongoing saga - I am looking for a new disability lawyer, because that firm "fired" me for failure to communicate.  My last letter from them came with a deadline that had passed five days before I received the letter.   And I'm the one failing to communicate.

Now, I am looking forward to 2011.  It must, by necessity, be a big year for me.  I will find a way to support myself financially.  I will find a way to have access to more-than-adequate medical care.  I will continue to sell or give away or throw away or donate stuff as I sort through the seemingly endless supply of boxes and bins.  I will resolve what legal issues are before me, and perhaps in a more positive way than I am expecting.  I will sell the car I now own, and find a mode of transportation that is more in keeping with my current practically nonexistent means and minimal needs.

I will love my kid and my grandkid (and yes, -sigh-, even my son-in-law, lol), and myself.  I will strive to be aware of the good in my life as it passes through, and continue to be incredibly thankful for it, whatever forms it takes.  If you perhaps need to point that out to me sometimes, feel free.